Give Meditation A Try: Three Techniques

The following is an excerpt from Finding Your Smile Again, my new book on child care provider burnout which is published by Redleaf Press:

As a beginner, all you need to do is get comfortable, close your eyes, and relax. Here are some very basic meditation instructions for three simple techniques. They’ll get you started.

Following Your Breath

• Sit, stand, or lie comfortably with your spine straight and your eyes closed.

• Breathe comfortably through your nose. Let your body relax, and allow tension to slip away from your muscles.

• Feel the sensation of your breath as it flows in and out of your nostrils. Feel the rise and fall of your abdomen or chest.

• Experience the beginning, middle, and end of every in-breath, and the beginning, middle, and end of every out-breath. Don’t try to control your breathing, simply breathe. Let the breath breathe itself.

• Be aware of each breath as it enters and exits.

• Every time your attention wanders away from your breathing and shifts to another physical sensation or thought, gently but firmly bring your attention back to your breath. Do this gently every time your mind drifts. Resist self-judgment and self-criticism. Taming your monkey mind takes work and practice.

• Continue in this manner until the end of the time you set aside for this practice. (Maybe five minutes at first, working your way up to thirty minutes a sitting, or even an hour when you have time.)

• Slowly open your eyes, and enjoy the personal calm you have created in your busy life.

Visualization

Visualization is a different kind of meditation technique to bring calm and focus into your life. The goal of visualization is to transport yourself mentally to a different and more positive time, place, or reality. It may sound goofy, but it is a tool used by professional athletes and others to help reach their goals. Does visualization work? Well, I used to imagine being an author and living in a large old house full of kids. At the time, I didn’t know what I would write, where the house would be, or whom the children would belong to. I even remember sketching the house and its many rooms. Over years of burnout, I lost track of this dream, but as I healed, the images popped back into my head. I revisited that dream frequently, visualizing more and more detail, until I was able to make this vision a reality: this is my second book, and I now live in a beautiful one-hundred-year-old–plus house that is filled each day with the laughs and joyous sounds of children in our family child care program.

Like following your breathing, you can use visualization anyplace, anytime. Before you get started, take a moment to decide what to visualize:

If you want to relax, you may want to visualize a tropical beach at sunset, a suite in a swanky European hotel, a trip to a trendy spa, or a campsite in a lush green forest. If you prefer goal-oriented visualization, you may want to imagine yourself back in school, acing all your classes, succeeding in a new dream job, accomplishing the goals you have set in the job you have, dancing on Broadway, or moving into a new home. If you’re anxious, you may want to visualize the resolution of the situation causing your anxiety. Picture yourself bravely facing the situation head on; doing so helps you build the courage needed to fix the problem. If you are out of tune with a child, parent, family member, or coworker, consider visualizing yourself as that person. Get inside her skin; see the situation through her eyes. Draw on all you know about her and imagine why she acts, and reacts, the way she does. This may provide some helpful insight into your relationship and may allow you to better empathize with her. If you just want to get away from your own life, visualize yourself as a soaring eagle, a leaf on a tree in the middle of a huge forest, an alien visiting earth, or the last unicorn. Take your time to decide where you want to go. It’s your mental vacation, so go anyplace and everyplace you want.

To get started, sit or lie down comfortably. Take a few deep, cleansing breaths to prepare your body and mind. Let go of the day’s worries and stresses. Relax in the moment. Close your eyes. When you are comfortable, begin painting a picture on the inside of your eyelids. You have decided where you want

to go, so now let your mind take you there. You need practice, the ability to relax, and willingness to let go for this to work. If spending time rattling around inside your imagination is foreign to you, you’ll need time to become comfortable with this practice.

Start by imagining the basic setting and then add details. For example, if you’re visualizing a tranquil trip to the beach, start with a mental picture of the shore, the ocean, and the horizon. Now add yourself, as you want to be, to the scene. Who is with you? Can you smell the saltiness of the water? How does the warm sand feel under your feet? How do the waves and the birds sound? Do you see surfers, quaint fishing boats from the local village, or maybe large schooners on the horizon? Add a drink to your hand. How does it taste? Do you like the coconut cup and the cute paper parasol served with it? Are you proud of the hard work you did to fit into that swimsuit? What happens next?

Spend as much time as you need to flesh out your visualizations. Revisit them often. Create still pictures or movies. Add detail as the fog lifts from your eyes. Toss in some comedy, romance, or mystery. Let your imagination out to play. Create the same scene over and over, or visualize something new each time you sit down and close your eyes.

This is a powerful tool for relaxation, and it can help you turn your goals into reality. Before you can accomplish anything, you must be able to picture success. Visualize yourself living your bliss without burnout. Imagine handling situations before they get out of hand. See your dreams clearly, so you can devise a firm plan for making them real.

Progressive Relaxation

Our third meditation technique, progressive relaxation, is a simple but splendid way to relax and center yourself. Best of all, it only takes a few minutes out of your day. It’s a great way to wake up gently in the morning, reenergize during the day, or unwind before going to sleep. The idea is to relax your body in stages, one part at a time. Enough talk—let’s try it.

• Start with your toes and work your way up your body. As you progress, focus your mind on the feeling in your muscles as you tense and relax them. Breathe easily, allow your mind to clear, and focus inward.

• To get started, lie comfortably on your back. Just lie there for a few seconds and breathe deeply. Clench your toes and feet as you push them away from you. Now, still clenched, pull your toes toward you and hold. After a few seconds, unclench your feet and wiggle your piggies.

• Tighten your calves and hold. Take a few breaths and release. Flex your thighs and hold. Feel the tension in your muscles. Let your breath guide you. Release when you feel the time is right.

• There is no delicate way to say this: scrunch your buttocks, pelvis, and hips. Breathe. When you feel it is time to move on, release. We’re halfway through. The lower half of your body should feel stress-free and calm.

• Squeeze your hands into fists. Squeeze hard, tightening all the muscles in your fingers, hands, and wrists. Breathe. Relax your hands when you’re ready.

• Fully constrict the muscles in your forearms. Breathe; release when you are ready to move on to the next step.

• Your core is next; pull your abdominals taut. Hold them this way for a while; you’ll feel them start to burn. Relax all your other muscles. Breathe. Release your abs when ready to move on.

• Tighten your upper arms; flex your biceps and triceps. Breathe, then release when you’re ready.

• Keeping your upper back on the floor, pull your shoulders up and in. Contract your chest muscles. Keep these muscles tight, and relax everything else. Breathe. Let go when you’re ready.

• Constrict the muscles in your neck; hold your breath for this one. Release and move on at your own pace.

• Scrunch your face so it looks like a raisin. Hold. Now go the other way: widen your eye, flare your nostrils, open your mouth wide, and stick out your tongue. Hold. No one is watching. Take a moment, and alternate between these funny faces a few times.

• Roll your head from side to side. Breathe deeply. Focus on the calmness that flows through your body. Don’t be in a rush. When you are ready, sit up slowly and return to your busy life, refreshed.

Try all three of these techniques and use the one (or ones) most effective for you. You might use all of them, depending on your situation or the time of day. For meditation to be most effective, it’s best to pick a technique that feels comfortable and to practice it on a regular basis, ideally at the same time each day and every day. If you can’t do it every day, do it as often as possible. Like exercise, meditation takes discipline and practice for you to start reaping its rewards.