Godsend

Over the years, I have met scores of professional caregivers who believe working with children is more than a job. They believe it is a calling. They believe it is their Ultimate Purpose in life. For many, this belief means tolerating work conditions, benefits, and pay that are not ideal. It can also mean physically and emotionally draining work that often goes unnoticed, long hours that are unappreciated, and unacknowledged self-sacrifice. They know deep in their heads and hearts that they are doing good, but many of these dedicated caregivers long to hear the words “Thank-You” and receive some recognition that their commitment to children and families is appreciated.

Children are usually too young to recognize and appreciate their caregiver’s good works and parents often are so caught up in their own hectic lives that they don’t think to voice their gratitude.

This was on my mind when I received an email from a parent explaining that her caregiver was “truly a God-send”. She explained that her child care provider was not only great with her children, but had done lots to help her become a better parent.

In my reply, I asked if she would mind sharing a story about how this provider had been a positive influence. She shared a story and agreed to let me share it here. I’ve changed some details and names for the sake of privacy.

“I married at 21 and had two children in the marriage. I was young and made some poor choices and stayed in a failing, scary marriage for "my kids" until they were 4 and 1 1/2. When I left, I basically snuck out with the boys and what I could fit in a backpack and came home to (the Midwest)…I went back to college, stayed single, and got a good job.”

At this point, her two boys started child care in the home of the provider who turned out to be a “Godsend”. We will call her Jane. Her boys thrived in the program and eventually out grew it when they started school.

“(Later), I became engaged to a man I worked with and saw roses in my future! I became pregnant a couple months before the wedding; we were planning on me being able to stay at home with the baby, as I had always wanted!”

“Six weeks before the wedding my fiancé committed suicide.”

“Suicide is always hard (and)…being pregnant and not married at that point in my life was tough. I was ashamed of myself. I was thinking I should have seen something only God knew. Jane agreed to watch the baby if I needed her to.”

Her baby girl started in Jane’s program when mom went back to work. At 4 months of age, she was diagnosed with food allergies. She was nursing and allergic to things her mommy was eating. Mom changed her eating habits.

“When (the baby) was about 7 months old, we both knew something was not right. That is such a hard thing to face when it's your kid. She was not sitting up independently, not swallowing like she should, and she would cry and scream. Finally, Jane took my hands, looked me in the eyes, and showed me the developmental chart she has on her fridge.”

“Jane told me what (my daughter) should be doing (at this age) and that I should get her a developmental evaluation. Jane said if she was wrong that was ok. She loved us too much to see something and not say anything.”

(The baby) was evaluated and (they found she had) significant physical delays, but no mental delays. The food allergies were basically depriving her of nutrients. The nutrients she got went to her brain and eyes, causing small and large muscle delays.”

“She is now working with speech, physical, and occupational therapist. All of the therapy is done at Jane’s house, so I don't have to take off work. At each progress meeting, I hear accolades for Jane by the therapists. Many of them comment on how much they wish all the families that they work with had such good support by everyone who interacts with the kids. (The baby) is still behind and hanging on to the bottom of the growth chart, but making progress. She is on a new medicine that has been wonderful!”

“Jeff, I have thanked God so many times that Jane had the courage to speak up. I was in such denial; I was so afraid that it would be something so bad. I was paralyzed. We are fortunate. In a few years, God willing, you will never know she was behind.”

“I believe that care providers have a unique position that allows them to really see these kids around their peers and compare them objectively. It must have taken a lot of courage for Jane to tell me (she thought there was a problem), and I am glad she did!”

“I could go on and on with stories of our time with Jane in the last 8 years. I will just say I thank God for her, she is a wonderful friend and has allowed me to go to work without worrying about the care my kids get. A lot of single moms I know have had their careers suffer because of unreliable childcare and I am fortunate to have never known what that is like. I am fortunate to have someone like Jane in my life who stuck with me through all of this.”

I know Jane. She has a positive impact on the children and families in her NAFCC accredited program, but it goes further. She is a leader in her state and a role model to child care professionals beyond her state’s borders; she lives hundreds of miles from me, but has influenced my own growth as a professional. She is strong, direct, energetic, fun, and always thinking about how to make things a little better.

If you are a caregiver--a parent, a child care provider, a teacher, a foster parent—who feels called to do the work you do, if you feel caregiving is your Ultimate Purpose on this earth, if you are driven to make life better for children and families, you are someone’s Jane.

You may not always feel appreciated, you may not hear the words of thanks your ears ache for, you may not think the effort is worth the payoff, but make no mistake about it, you are someone’s “Godsend”.

Take a deep breath, center yourself, know you are following the right path, and keep up the good work.