Honing A Vacation Mindset

One of the big errors we make when planning and implementing early learning experiences is that we approach the endeavors as if they are work. This is an easy mistake to make since, for many of us, these things are our job; they are the things for which we trained. They are the things we are paid to show up and do, they put crackers in the cupboard, cheese in the fridge, and wine on the rack.

The problem here is that for many of us that work mentality sucks the joy out of the job faster than a thirsty two-year-old can suck the grape juice from a foil pouch. When we approach our engagements with children with a work mentality, we tend to look for order and efficiency; we tend to want to “stick to the plan”, “check the boxes”, and “get the job done”; we tend to feel rushed, burdened, and hurried; we tend to miss the magic of the moments we create; we tend to galumph through muck more than we dance on clouds; we tend to overlook the wonder, freshness, and excitement the children experience; we tend to turn Technicolor moments into shabby shades of gray.

There are two big problems with this mindset:

·         It’s not a lot of fun for us. When we see our work as work we become stressed, anxious, run down, annoyed, angry, and burnt out.

·         Children are intuitive enough to sense our discomfort and it affects their behavior and experience. Think about your own life. Are you more comfortable around happy and joyful people or stressed and anxious people?

What if you stopped looking at your work as work?

What if you approached your job with a Vacation Mindset?

Think about your last vacation. Not the time you spent packing and getting ready, not the time you spent traveling, not the time you spent getting back into the swing of your regular life once you got home, but the time you spent all settled in and relaxed at the beach or the campground or grandma’s house. Think about the mindset you had during that time:

·         You were not rushed.

·         You were not stressed.

·         You were free to play and enjoy yourself.

·         You were unbound, unconfined, untethered, and unfettered.

·         You were relaxed.

·         You were invigorated.

·         You were able to purse interests for which you usually had no time.

·         You were simultaneously able to engage and disengage.

·         You were childlike in spirit and outlook.

·         You were predisposed to YES.

·         You were calm and centered.

·         You were drawn to new ideas and adventures.

·         You were able to let go and let your hair down.

·         You were open to possibility.

A Vacation Mindset is good for children as well, partly because they experience the same benefits of vacation that adults do, but partly because the adults responsible for them are more relaxed and less restrained. Kids are allowed more freedom to explore, dream, and play in vacation settings. It’s easier to let them stay up late and chase lightening bugs with flashlights when no one has to get up early the next day. Here are some real life examples of children freed up by a Vacation Mindset:

·         A dark haired six-year-old girl wagging her finger and scolding the Pacific Ocean every time it erases lines she makes in the sand with the heel of her left foot. She repeatedly draws a fresh line in the sand, uses her fingers to urge the waves to come and get it, and then rebukes the water for doing what she asked.

·         Sand-covered children taking turns swinging each other too high in a rainbow colored hammock. The swingie was cocooned in the cloth hammock as the swingers did their best to achieve a 360-degree rotation, a bit of danger outweighed by a lot of laughter. 

·         Mud encrusted campground kids catching buckets of toads by flashlight under a starry half-moon sky. Their shouts, roars, and giggles piercing the dark and pushing back its scariness.

·         Wellington-clad toddlers marching down a rainy botanical garden trail, never missing a bug, stick, or puddle. Noses full of flowers, hands full of treasures, mouths full of questions.

·         An adventurous seven-year-old examining the moist wall at the dead end of a dark 300 meter long lava tube trying to convince his mother to turn off her flashlight so he can, “see what real dark looks like.”

·         A nature loving grandfather, time polished Zippo in hand, explaining what it takes to make fire to an increasingly curious grandson. The solid flick and instant flame of the trusty stainless steel lighter pulling the boy from his handheld video game.

·         Five year olds dressed for the 4^th of July selling paper cups of lemonade for 50 cents; happily using their manners, practicing social skills with strangers, doing math, and mixing up yummy chemistry experiments with sugar, water, ice, and lemons.

·         A single ten-year-old boy with long hair experiencing winds in a grassy field. It tousles his hair, moves in waves through the long grass, shakes the trees, and makes is orange and green kite dance. It’s all science and it’s all play.

If adults are less stressed and more relaxed and open on vacation, and if children are freer and more able to follow their own interests and whims (which me know builds brains), then why not hone a Vacation Mindset all year long?

Two reasons:

1.         It’s hard.

2.         People just don’t do that.

The first one is true. The second one is not.

Change is hard. If change was easy all the smokers who wanted to quit would be successful their first try, everyone who wanted to lose and keep off weight would have washboard abs and upper arms that didn’t sag like bread dough hung on a clothesline, and we’d all be living our dreams. Change takes time, energy, focus, and resources. It’s scary and you have to beat back the shadowy monster that fear creates in your head. On the other hand, people do hard things all the time. People do quit smoking. People do get in shape. People do live their dreams. Hard does not mean impossible.

As for the second point, some people do live with a Vacation Mindset. Not just 20 something surfer beach rats or 70 something fulltime campers pulling their fifth wheels from national park to national park all year long. Real people perfect mindsets that let them live with the ease, focus, calm, and joy most people only find on vacation.

How do you change your mindset from Work to Vacation? Well, we don’t have the space to go into deep details here, but here are a few tips:

·         Think about your last vacation and try to integrate something you loved from that trip into your daily life. Maybe it was morning walks as the sun came up, maybe it was listening to the birds sing in the evening, or maybe it was holding hands more with your sweetie, having a chance to read, connecting with your own children, or simple deep clear breaths as you drifted off to sleep. Making these vacation jewels part of your everyday life keep you connected to your Vacation Mindset. Build a piece of every vacation you take into your normal life and you will feel the benefits.

·         Take baby steps. Don’t try to change too many things all at once or you’ll just make a bigger mess.

·         Look at the parts of your life that already support the Vacation Mindset you’re trying to create and make changes that magnify them. For example, if your Saturday morning routine is especially relaxing for you, try to build parts of that routine into your weekday mornings too.

·         Tune in to what makes the hard parts of your day so challenging and taxing and look for ways to reduce or avoid those stressors.

·         Make time every day to nurture your own needs. Just a few minutes at the start of each day will do wonders. You will be more focused and mindful of the choices you make while caring for others if you make time to care for yourself.

·         See the joy that surrounds you. It’s there; you’re probably just too busy to pay it any attention. When you see it, take time to enjoy it and let it recharge you.

If you want information and tools for managing stress, finding balance, and changing your mindset, we recommend Seeking Balance in an Unbalanced World: A Teacher's Journey by Angela Schmidt Fishbaugh and my two stress and burnout books Finding Your Smile Again and Keeping Your Smile.

Changing your mindset is hard, but you can do it if you choose to. It will lead to a happier life and a healthier early learning environment for the children in your care.