Jeffy’s Angel's

 Every episode of one of my favorite TV shows as a child began with these words: “Once upon a time there were three beautiful girls who went to the police academy, and they were each assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that and now they work for me. My name is Charlie.”

 Thirty years later, my days as a family child care provider begin with these words ringing in my ears: “Once upon a time there were three beautiful baby girls who went to child care, and burping or changing each of them could be a very hazardous duty. But I overlooked all that because they fascinated me. My name is Jeffy.”

You see, after a long spell of mostly boys in our program, my wife and I recently enrolled three infant girls: redhead Marygrace, blond Siddha, and brunette Annie Lou. A house full of boys was great fun, but adding these beautiful baby girls to our program has sort of brought things into balance.

 I would love to go on from here spinning a tale about how Jeffy’s Angels fight crime between napping and eating rice cereal; how they use their smarts and high-tech gadgets to thwart evildoers; how they bravely leap from their car seats onto the wings of moving airplanes to stop diamond smugglers;  and how they spin wheel kick kidnappers in the head with their tiny little legs, but that would be silly. Besides, the reality of these girls is more fascinating than any fictional adventure story I could weave.

 On the surface, babies are a lot like roses, they are typically easy on the eyes and usually smell nice; one is the same as the next. Many people look at an infant and see little more than a wiggling, helpless, noisy, bud of what will one day be a person. They don’t take time to look close and see the depth of each infant’s uniqueness. Each child’s personal temperament, character, and disposition are missed by the casual observer. To them, a baby is a baby is a baby; they fail to see the striking differences in personality from one child to the next, the singular jewel of individuality beginning to blossom. Spend a little time looking at individual roses, and you’ll notice subtle differences in color, shape and scent. Spend a little time looking at individual babies, and you begin to see that each infant is in possession of their own distinctive and special personality--defined from the very beginning by both nature and nurture. Let’s take a look a little closer at the Angels:

 As a group, they are a whirl of busy minds, mouths, eyes, hands, and legs. Eager to connect with people and objects, they make eye contact, smile, coo, and grasp. They all love to be held and cuddled, but of the three, Marygrace likes to be held best. Some people would consider her a “clingy” baby. She loves to be Up --and voices her displeasure with being Down with an ear-piercing scream that ceases the millisecond she senses she is going to be picked up. Marygrace is not clingy--she is just extremely social and loves being held. It allows her a great vantage point from which to watch the world. While she likes the physical closeness that comes with being held, she is more interested in surveillance than cuddling. She prefers being held by someone who is standing because this allows her to observe everything in the room, spinning her head and craning her neck as she tracks movement. The person doing the holding is often not as important as the fact that she is up and able to absorb as much visual information as possible. Siddha and Annie, on the other hand, are cuddlier when they are held. Siddha likes to cuddle cheek-to-cheek; Annie usually snuggles into my chest and shoulder. They still watch the world around them, but when being held, they focus on the person doing the holding.  They nestle in close, enjoying the human contact more than the advantageous vantage point.

 Annie, the youngest angel, enjoys tummy-time more than the other two. She holds up her head until her little neck tires, puts it down for a few minutes rest, and then lifts it to watch the world again. I’ve tried to mimic her position and view of our playroom; I don’t find it too exciting, but she is mesmerized by the sights she sees. Siddha prefers observing life from her back. She messes with toys, coos to whoever is near, and babbles happily--until she accidentally rolls over onto her tummy. When she is not being held, Marygrace prefers sitting. It gives her a prime vantage point for observing the world and socializing with the older children.

 When it comes to napping, Siddha makes her “I’m tired” face and sounds, I swaddle her, and she falls asleep--usually for a nice long nap. Simple. The other two fight sleep as long as they possibly can. They go from sleepy, to fussy, to grouchy, to exhausted, before allowing their little eyelids to finally flutter shut.

 One of the things the three girls have in common is that they change about as fast as an eyelid flutters. Their personalities are in continual bloom; new skills develop, knowledge grows, and individual identities emerge. Nature and nurture work together, transforming the girls from one day to the next. It happens so quickly. In the week or so I have been fiddling with this article, Marygrace has started to embrace the idea of Down. She has become mobile--scooching, scooting, rolling, and pulling her self across the floor. She has even experimented with actual crawling. Like the other Angels, and all infants, her world is opening and expanding in all directions at a phenomenal rate.

 That babies have unique personalities and quickly develop skills and abilities is no big revelation to experienced caregivers; we see it first hand on a daily basis. The important thing for you to remember is that most people don’t look closely enough to see these things. Adults without daily contact with infants are usually blind to the importance of the first two years of life, looking at infanthood as something to be outgrown before a baby becomes a “real” person. The whirl of the adult world can even make observant parents miss small changes in their own children.

 As individual caregivers, I urge you to take every opportunity to speak up for the Angels in your lives. We need to speak up about the needs of infants since they are unable to speak for themselves. Politicians, business people, and other leaders need to know the significance of the earliest years of life. Their decisions impact the lives of children on many levels; it is important that we educate them about the growth and development of our countries youngest citizens so they can make informed decisions. Mommies and Daddies need to know that they don’t need to be perfect parents to be good parents. The more we can help educate them about the growth and development of their babies--and make them feel comfortable as Parents--the better they will be at the job. Our responsibility as caregivers goes beyond feeding and diapering, it goes beyond the walls of our programs. We need to speak up on behalf of all the angels in our care.

 Oh, one last thing. In the spring, a new infant baby boy will join our program. We’ve had a chance to observe his growth over the last few months when his mommy drops off and picks up his big sister at our house. We can’t wait to meet him face to face and get to know him. I don’t know what his mommy is going to name him yet, but we’re going to call him Bosley.