Moving On Up

In a few days, three of my babies are heading off to their first day of kindergarten. Well, they are not technically mine nor are they babies, but there are three of them. Ty, Noah, and Phoebe have been part of our family child care program for most of their lives. The two boys showed up as infants; Phoebe  arrived when she was two.

They have spent hundreds of hours in our playroom, kitchen, and yard learning how the world works and how they fit into that world. We have seen them grow into very unique and special individuals. Ty is emotionally astute and social. He is very concerned about how others feel and always aware of what is happening with the people around him. Phoebe is an incredible wordsmith, she is writing and reading and loves words. Noah is mechanically inclined. He loves to take things apart and sometimes puts them back together.

Today, they engaged in a long game of Transformers. Noah was Optimus Prime, Phoebe was “the girl” Bumble Bee, and Ty was a ninja transformer of his own creation. When I heard them making plans to play, I was expecting a battle full of sound effects, arguing, and chasing. A birthday party unfolded instead. 

“It’s my birthday and you have to cook me a cake and bring me presents”, said Noah. “Yeah, and we will surprise you” added Ty. Then they all three set off to create a  birthday party. A cake was made from sand. Dump trucks were prepared as presents. The table and chairs were hauled across the yard. Soup, salad, and “fancy food” were cooked up from sticks, leaves, and flowers.

Observing their play, I saw cooperation, the use of language, problem solving, social awareness, imagination, the use of symbolism,  and a trio of minors with manners. They solved disagreements with words instead of sticks. They all acted as leaders and followers. They cooperatively built an elaborate fantasy world and then spent over an hour living in it. They treated each other with respect, and dignity, and kindness.

Over the years they have each went through rough patches where they were not the most pleasant people to be around, but they have really turned into amazing little people.

The vast majority of the credit goes to their parents. They are very different individuals, but one thing all three have in common is actively involved, loving, and tuned-in Mommies and Daddies.

Now, these amazing little critters are about to move up to the big leagues and it has me a little worried. My concern is not just about them, but all five year olds headed off to their first days of school.

One reason I am worried is that while most kindergarten teachers I know understand that five year olds learn through play, develop at different speeds, have different interests, and often march to tunes no one else can hear, most school curriculums do not.

We have created an education system where test scores and grades are more important than learning. Where boxed curriculums too often turn bright and engaging teachers into automatons. Where seniority too often keeps poor teachers in the classroom.

I also worry that they will get lost in the shuffle and not  be seen as fully unique and special. There is a good chance they will end up in a class with that one student who requires 85 percent of the teacher’s time. Twenty well behaved five year olds is two hands full. Add a few children who are “socially challenged” and you have a stressed out teacher with bugged out eyes and clumps of hair in her hands she has just ripped from her head. You also have  a bunch of other children who are not getting the attention they want and need. Kids who feel this way tend to melt into the background or act out because they see it as a way to grab the spotlight for themselves. Early learning at its most basic level is about relationships and I fear that many teachers do not have the support or resources needed to build the kinds of relationships that are most conducive to learning.

Play worries me too. More precisely, I am worried school will squelch and squander children’s interest in play. The mind learns through play. Play, with all its messiness, goofiness, whimsy, and fantasy, should be encouraged. It should be the center point of our educational system from which all curriculum flows. Sadly, it is not. I am repeatedly made aware of this fact when children who were once  able to lose themselves in play for hours at a time return to our program during school breaks and seem to have forgotten how to entertain themselves. Their once bursting imaginations are stifled. They wait for directions on what to do, when to do it, and how it should be done. I worry they will lose some of the spark that allows them to imagine Optimus Prime’s 15th birthday party in the sun dappled  tranquility of my backyard.

The thing is, I am not the only one who worries about these things. Lots of teachers worry too. I’ve met many stressed out early elementary teachers who are forced to teach in ways they know are not developmentally appropriate, child-friendly, or effective. They feel their hands are bound with red tape. They feel more like cogs in a belching, lurching machine than like respected educators. They fight the system, but it often beats them down.

I’m worried, but I am also hopeful. Hopeful that teachers and parents will  stand up and fight for child-friendly curriculums, hopeful that the system can change in a way that allows individual children to get the attention they deserve, and hopeful that schools will see the value of play and integrate it fully into their days. Hopefulness, however, does not bring change. So, if you have similar worries, I urge you to become informed,  speak up, and get involved.