Like It or Not, If You Work with Children, You’re a Professional Role Model

I was at a conference doing a book signing recently when a young woman I was sure I knew, but did not immediately recognize, stopped to chat. I quickly ran through the photo album in my head, searching for her eyes and smile. It took a moment, but things registered. We first met at a community center when she was in second grade and I was the program’s assistant director. A regular at the center for a number of years, I remembered a bright-eyed, energetic, happy child. The fact that the children we work with tend to grow up--and change at least a bit while doing so is a real occupational hazard; you don’t always recognizing them when you run into them years later. Anyway, I had not seen this particular child for 15 years or so. As we talked, she shared that she was now a sophomore in college studying early childhood education. I looked at her with mock shock and asked what in the world could have drawn her to the field. She smiled broadly and playfully said it was, of course, the above average income potential and superb benefits. Then she turned serious and said something that surprised me (more on that later).  

As providers, we have an enormous influence on the minds of the little people we care for. They learn from our actions and reactions; from what we say and what we leave unsaid; from the tone of our voice and the tone we set in our learning environments. We influence their choice in food, the books they read, the way they use language, their habits, their decision making skills, their manners, their attitude toward almost everything, and their general outlook on life. Possessing such influence is a big responsibility and makes us very powerful players in their lives. We must use good judgment and make wise choices; their eyes and ears are always focused on us and they will imitate and internalize what they see and hear.

They not only watch us to learn how to navigate life successfully, they also expect us to live up to our role model position--and they will call us on any mistakes and short comings they observe. “No, Jeffy...No, Jeffy...No Jeffy”, my almost-two-year-old buddy, Sam, sternly scolded. It took me a long moment to figure out why I was in trouble. Then I realized I was sitting on the use-worn children’s workbench in our playroom. This, as Sam so effectively reminded me, was against the rules at our house. We can sit on the floor, and on chairs, but we do not climb, or sit, on top of the tables. I quickly moved and apologized. Like it or not, kids always have us under a microscope, analyzing everything we do.

This responsibility and influence we have been given comes with plenty of benefits. As professional role models, we have the chance to pass on the best things about ourselves, inspire healthy habits, and instill a passion for learning and life. In some situations, we may be the only positive model of adulthood in a child’s life.

The reality is that it is impossible for providers to operate at their best all the time; we’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to sit where we are not supposed to, we’re going to let our frustrations and stress show, and now and then we’re going to have a bad day. That’s OK, because it is comforting for children to see adults make mistakes. It shows that it’s human to mess up; that adults are not perfect and kids don’t have to be either. It’s hard work being a kid and, although we need to expect a lot from them, we don’t want to set the bar too high for them to clear.

So, we move through our days--sometimes gliding on air and doing everything right, sometimes neck deep in mud wondering what we’re doing-- always modeling adult life and introducing children to the world they will inherit. We try to do the best we can at any particular moment. We model, teach, coach, and mentor through snacks and naps, during story time and outside play, as we change diapers and wipe noses; always hoping we are making a difference. Then, out of the blue, a voice from the past walks up and says something like that young lady said to me: “I want to work with kids because of you. You always seemed to be having so much fun and you were always so happy to see me when I walked into the center after school. I was going though some tough times back then. I want to be there for kids like you were there for me.”  

Being a professional role model is hard work and comes with a lot of responsibility, but you can’t ask for a better payoff than hearing words like those.